Boyfriend cant get a job
You know what I am talking about. And read my 21 pieces of unsolicited advice for you, the brokenhearted. In our teens, being in the band made a man sexy. I went and confirmed it with an expert. It also highlights his self-esteem. Give him a reasonable time frame and pay attention to his dedication and energy level.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Unemployed Men - Real Men vs. Boy - Women Support
- My Boyfriend Can’t Find a Job and It’s Driving Me Nuts!
- 10 Ways To Cope With A Partner That Can’t Find A Good Job
- My Boyfriend is Wonderful, but Not Ambitious or Successful
- Supporting a Spouse or Partner who has Relocated for Your Career
- Don’t Marry Your Man If He Lacks These 4 Traits
- Unemployed men: how female partners suffer
- How to Get Your Boyfriend to Get a Job
My Boyfriend Can’t Find a Job and It’s Driving Me Nuts!
We have known one another for about ten years dating on and off, taking a four year break at one point. We are compatible on many levels, but there is one thing that continues to turn me off from ten years ago to now and that is his lack of ambition to be successful professionally.
I find the sexiest thing about a man is his intelligence, and no matter if a person is well read or not, a great deal of intelligence comes from professional life experience. I should be happy to have a man who loves me and I can trust. I think everyone here can feel your pain. In such circumstances, there are no decisions to be made. Which means the world is grey, not black and white. This is the calculus of dating. Which is why giving advice on such individual matters is somewhere between impossible and pointless.
Someone told me recently that women expect men to fulfill ALL of their needs, which sets them up for failure. They want men to fulfill the role of their best girlfriend and their rock solid Marlboro Man simultaneously.
We can compartmentalize. Thus, you have to make hard choices. I get the joy of sophistication. The ability to quote Proust pales in comparison with the person who will drive you to your chemo treatments in thirty years.
So, back to the original question: are compatibility and kindness more important than worldliness and ambition? But there are ambitious people who are kind as well. And it would be easy to tell you to dump your guy and seek one of these guys out.
The thing is that most good qualities often come with bad qualities as well. The ambitious guy may work 70 hours a week. The sophisticated guy may be a know-it-all and a snob. I would encourage you to look long and hard at what really matters, CJ, and how hard it is to find it. And I meant it — I never really met anyone with whom I was super-compatible. Someone younger. Someone more accomplished. Someone more well-read. Is there someone like that out there?
Intellectual stimulation matters. Money definitely matters. Cj run for your life….. CJ sorry if this is an old post.
I had a co worker. But she was very young. About to turn She seemed to have felt that when he quit his career in baseball, that she was his rebound.
Maybee possibly it was fate. You might have to sometimes choose love over finding a person exciting because of their job choices. Friedrich Nietzsche. I have never met anyone who would understand this! Not necessarily gold diggers but want an equal levels of achievement.
Gold diggers do nothing and want everything. Independent women do everything and want nothing from their men. If a man has no aspirations, where will he be in life, what will he want, what successes will he strive for beyond financial. Worldy and ambitious men are kind too, they just have less energy and time for you if they spend most of it at work.
On the surface he seems super nice, we seem to like some of the same things, etc, but from our conversations it seems that he would like to spend his time doing what he enjoys and not take a job that he would not be happy doing at his age we are both over I think it might fall under the category of having different values and it could be a real deal breaker for me. I am 39, and just broke up with a lovely guy who made me feel loved and happy.
Sadly he was not very ambitious, and did not bring out the best in me. I felt irritated, wanting to change him. Felt that we talk different language. I decided to break it off after 4 months with a heavy heart. Maybe, I will regret, but took the risk, he does not deserve someone who criticises him all the time….
Still a bit sad…Martina. I fully understand, sometimes you have to take the risk! If not hoe will you ever know. Martina, I hope you are ok, I have to ask do you regret breaking it off? I am in exactly the same position now with a. Wry good man, with no ambition deciding if I can move forward or not. It would be good to hear from someone who has been through it.
He is such an amazing guy with so much potential, it hurts. I hope your broken heart heals soon and you find the someone more compatible. With a 4 yr. She writes they are compatible on many levels, but obviously not on this one and it would seem as they both get older, this level is becomming more and more important to her. Kinda sad all the way around. Hey, wait a minute…I thought love conquers all? Guess not. Like Evan said, no guy can fulfill all your needs, and it seems that is what CJ is looking for.
And we do have to compromise all the time. I think she has a pretty good deal going with this guy, but has she told him how she feels? Most guys need a little nudging in that area. Maybe CJ is putting too much emphasis on somehting that may seem important now but may not be in the long run. You would like to be able to hold down a conversation with your partner and if your time together goes on with awkward silences when you are out of bed, you are going to have a hard time in a LTR.
And as Evan is saying compatibility is important. This is precisely a compatibility issue. Of course she should be acceptiing of him as he is but she can introduce him to her perspective and find a common place. But I can talk to my business coach about my business, I can talk to my best guy friend about philosophy, and I can experience my own creativity and others creativity in other forms. Be aware that neither of you are going to change in this regard. The question you have ask yourself is if the lack of desired qualities in your BF are enough for you to go find someone else.
Can you be happy for the next 40 years living without those qualities in a husband? I think there is a lot of insight to be had from asking why has a woman who describes herself as a go-getter stayed with such a man for 10 years, even going back to him after a 4 year break.
As Evan wrote, their are guys with more ambition and intellectual drives who have the qualities you want and an intelligent woman like you already knows that. I think once you examine these questions you will feel more strongly about staying or going which will help you make a decision. I would have to throw my lot in with Selena on this one. Although I think Evan makes a great point about women compartmentalizing a little more, you really have to figure out what is non-negotiable for you.
Is she going to be comfortable being a mistress or being rejected when she finds a her ideal? Would her old boyfriend take her back? Would she be alone forever? Would being alone make her happier?
Would she just be in the chase her whole life? Would she just style with someone else that is potentially a worse person than her boyfriend? If she can answer all of that, then she can make a decision. After this length of time, you know exactly who he is and what he has to offer as a human being and yet you are chronically dissatisfied, which he has to know at least intuitively, and which surely must hurt him deeply.
You keep yo-yo-ing back and forth, dancing in and out of the relationship, and he takes you back every time. You want HIM to change — be different improve, in your eyes be more like you. We should either love our mates the way they are or move on. If you do stick around will you really be able to love him unconditionally, as Evan urges? How sad. How downright cruel.
Instead, he prefers to have fun and balance in his life.
10 Ways To Cope With A Partner That Can’t Find A Good Job
At some point in your career, you may be faced with a choice of whether or not to relocate to a new city, state or even across the country for your work. In the corporate world, where takeovers and reorganizations are a fact of life, this is often a reality. Even if you never find yourself forced to move for your current job, you may choose relocation as a way to follow a new career path or move up in your company.
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My Boyfriend is Wonderful, but Not Ambitious or Successful
FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. Dedicated boyfriend but unemployed and unambitious, should i end it? I'm 29, have a doctorate, make 6 figures and own my own place. I've been with a guy who is 5 years younger than me for 6 months now. When we first met he was very honest and revealed that he never finished high school but has a GED, he tried 1 semester of college but dropped out; he also disclosed without me asking that his job paid 30k a year. I have to admit it was very refreshing to come by such confidence and honesty. Despite the attraction and chemistry between us I tried to resist getting too close to him due to our age, education and socioeconomic differences fearing the potential relationship problems that could arise from that.
Supporting a Spouse or Partner who has Relocated for Your Career
Recently, my colleagues had a discussion about a trend in couples that we have observed where one partner refuses to get a job to support the household or have a stable employment. Here are some reasons why people choose to stay with a partner who refuses to work. Even though you may start to feel a lot of hurt, anger, and resentment towards your partner, ultimately you stay in the relationship because you are getting something out of it. You have to be honest with yourself and explore what that is.
Long-term unemployment can be a debilitating experience, made worse by the self-loathing that compounds the problem. But while the consequences for those unemployed are well documented, there's another casualty whose suffering is less frequently considered: the spouse. In an attempt to help their partners through what is a tumultuous time, these women endure substantial turmoil themselves. The impact of male unemployement affects female partners too.
Don’t Marry Your Man If He Lacks These 4 Traits
Christina, 29, has been with her serious boyfriend for several years. Whenever they go anywhere, she now pays for them both. This could go one of two ways: It could be the catalyst for your breakup, or it could be the first major challenge that you and your boyfriend get through together.
A lengthy unemployment due to layoffs or career changes may make your Mr. Right seem less perfect, especially if he lacks the ambition to find a new job. Financially supporting your boyfriend can hinder the relationship and lead to negative feelings like anger and frustration. You can't force your boyfriend to find a job but you can encourage his search. Don't resort to threats or guilt tactics but be firm in your resolve and supportive of his genuine efforts.
Unemployed men: how female partners suffer
He has no sense of pride. What would he have to be proud of in his life? He put off a false sense of confidence because really he had the lowest of low self-esteem. He had no sort of self-worth because what is HE really worth? No job means he contributes nothing to society. While he acted like his carefree life was grand, deep down he was ashamed, but still too lazy to do something about it.
How to Get Your Boyfriend to Get a Job