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Looking for girlfriend > 25 years > Emotional needs as a woman

Emotional needs as a woman

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Photo by Stocksy. We all have emotional needs. But what exactly is the definition of an emotional need? Let's talk about examples of basic emotional needs, how to figure out what our own individual needs are, and how to get those needs met.

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Everyone has emotional needs. When these needs are fulfilled you feel a special love and connection. Emotional needs represent the middle tier of the 3 sets of personal needs: love, emotional, and human. When your partner meets most of your needs, a strong bond and romance develop. These emotional needs focus more in terms of love and romance. Willard Harley, Jr.

This landmark work has had a profound impact on millions of marriages worldwide. To put it simply, his many years of research reveals that feelings of romance and love are nothing more than learned association based on triggered responses. What does that mean? In a lab experiment, it might be demonstrated by giving a person a violent shock when showing them a picture of a city, and giving them a comforting massage when showing them a picture of mountains.

After enough reiterations of this experiment, the subject would get uneasy when seeing pictures of a city, but relaxed and happy when seeing mountains. How does this relate to your marriage? When your emotional needs are met by a particular person, you draw closer to that person. When that person continues to meet your emotional needs, you can develop feelings of love and romance.

That person, your partner, is triggering a learned response within you of love. The opposite is also true. When your partner stops meeting your needs in a way that hurts you, you develop a learned response to pain when you see your partner. Many couples develop feelings of love and romance when they date. You and your partner probably did many activities together, talked, and shared intimate conversations. The good feelings were imprinted on each of you as love.

You got married. It was good for a while. However, somehow things changed. Life got in the way of your romance. Work took each of you away from the other.

Children created massive change in your time together and finances. Each of you changed a little as you matured and grew older. Your human, emotional, and love needs may have also changed. Now, however, there may be little romance and a lot more anger and frustration.

The solution is surprisingly simple:. You each need to identify your emotional needs, and re-commit to providing each other with these needs. When each of you start to provide each other with the needs each requires to feel love, on a continuous basis, the feelings of anger and frustration will be replaced with love and romance.

When you see your partner, you will once again be filled with joy and love. You may be asking why these emotional needs are so important. Several of the marriage experts I research refers to a concept Dr.

Gottman calls a similar concept the Love Map. Gary Chapman calls it the Love Tank. John Gray and Mark Gungor refer to the concept in all of their works. Quite simply, the Love Bank refers to the deposits and withdrawals of love units for all the interactions we have with other people. When someone does something that makes you feel appreciated, love units are deposited into your love bank. When someone does something that leaves you feeling anxious or angry, love units are withdrawn.

The units are not exact mathematical units, but rather, relative units to how you feel. When you first started to date your spouse, the dates that left you happy were the result of love units being deposited into your love bank. The more your partner did that helped you feel love, appreciation, admiration, respect, and so on, all were the result of love unit deposits.

When your partner forgot a date, said something inconsiderate or left you feeling insecure, love unit withdrawals are made. Love unit deposits and withdrawals are directly represented by the degree your partner meets your emotional needs. When your partner meets your emotional needs, you feel love and romance. The love bank has a large positive balance. When your partner fails to meet your emotional needs, you feel insecure, frustrated, angry, and neglected.

The love bank has large withdrawals and may even leave the balance in the negative. When the love bank runs low or in the negative, we tend to look for ways to bring it back into the positive.

It makes us feel better. We tend to pay more attention to those who leave us happy and with joy. This is how affairs begin. This is when we start to have emotions towards friends and coworkers who otherwise would not have registered on our radar.

When we are not having our emotional needs met at home, we look in other places, with other people. We do anything we can to get our love, emotional, and human needs met. You can affair-proof your marriage by making sure you meet the emotional needs of your spouse, and your spouse meeting your emotional needs.

You can increase the love bank deposits to where it has an abundant positive value. To do this, you need to understand the emotional needs, and how to fulfill those needs within yourself and your spouse. There are 10 emotional needs. Some are stereotypically associated with women, and some are stereotypically associated with men.

Today, that concept triggers some folks. As I describe these emotional needs and who usually has that need, I ask that you understand it is based on science. Not theory. Not feelings. Studies and science. What does matter is that you identify with the ones that help you feel a special sense of love.

As I discuss each one, I will refer to the sex that typically identifies with that need. Use this just as a reference, not an absolute. As you read about these 10 emotional needs, please be aware that at the end of this article, I will provide an exercise where you will select your top 5 emotional needs. Harley, Jr. Continuing to rank the remaining 5 do little to help a marriage. The 10 emotional needs are:. Affection is the expression of caring.

When you are shown affection by your partner, you feel that your partner cares about you. You feel secure. You feel comforted. Many men try to show affection to their wife with sex. Sex is sex. Affection is non-sexual. Any hug, kiss, or physical touch that is sexual in nature, or intended to lead to sex, is not affection. I'll talk more about sex later. Affection is very closely related to the 5 Love Languages popularized by Dr.

Gary Chapman. When you show love to your partner in the language they prefer, you are showing affection. If your partner has a need for affection, what can you do to provide them a feeling a security and comfort in a non-sexual way? Sex is most often associated as a need for men. To a man, sex is nearly as important as the air he breathes.

Without sex, a man will feel unloved. When he feels unloved he can do very bad things. Men often do not understand the relationship between affection and sex.

They want sex, but forget about giving affection first. Sex and affection are highly inter-related. When a man gives ample affection to his wife, she is far more likely to be in the mood for sex.

If one has sexual fantasies, that is a good indicator that sex is high on your list of emotional needs. If you fantasize about sex with your partner, sex is likely a strong emotional need. When sex is a high emotional need, it is beneficial for both partners to educate themselves in the art of sex. Boring sex is a drag.

8 Ways To Love Your Wife On An Emotional Level

Some of us ladies even enjoy it often. But men thrive off intimacy in marriage. Yes, women know how to put their needs aside to please their husbands, but over time the relationship will start to run dry as one partner has his needs met, but she is feeling empty and disconnected from her spouse. These 8 ways will help you love your wife on an emotional level, so she will return to you and love you on a physical level.

Understanding and meeting the emotional need of your woman, is vital to building a lasting and strong relationship. Do go into a relationship, expecting her to validate you, or make you feel worthwhile and happy. You have got it all wrong.

Everyone has emotional needs. When these needs are fulfilled you feel a special love and connection. Emotional needs represent the middle tier of the 3 sets of personal needs: love, emotional, and human. When your partner meets most of your needs, a strong bond and romance develop.

Things to Do to Satisfy a Woman Emotionally

I forget where I came across this. I just have the notes here and I wanted to talk about this because I thought this was interesting. There are people out there who have done tons of relationship research and now have recently devised a list of emotional needs guys have to fulfill in order to keep a woman attracted to you for a long time. This is supposed to be critical to maintaining a long-term relationship. If she is going to be with you or even want to be with you, she needs to make sure that her reputation will not diminish at the very least. Of course, if it could help her that is plus, too. But if you have a reputation that is nothing to be proud of, chances are, unless she just does not care, she is not going to want to get involved with you, long-term.

Emotional safety in relationships

Full on defense mode activated, looking for whatever way is convenient to remove myself from the situation. Men, can you relate? Do you love your woman, but want absolutely nothing to do with her when she brings her emotional intensity? A way that allows for real healing within us, our partners, and our relationships.

The physical changes in a woman's body during pregnancy receive plenty of attention, but less consideration is given to the emotional changes she could be experiencing.

Harley, Jr. Typical female emotional needs include conversation, affection, honesty and openness, financial security and family commitment. A woman needs to know that her man listens to her, explains Harley. Your woman needs to know that you care about her, and you need to show it, in addition to saying it, says Harley.

Why Men Abandon Their Women’s Emotional Needs (And How They Can Stop)

Last Updated on November 28, To love and be loved. Love, acceptance, respect, to be desired, security, passion, are all things we may want in a relationship. There are certainly others and each person has specific desires.

You may feel that your spouse is not meeting your emotional needs. But, marriage counselors and psychology experts generally agree that only you can satisfy those needs. You should not consider yourself an empty emotional vessel to be filled by your spouse. You need to take responsibility for your own fulfillment, and the best way to do that is to consider and satisfy your spouse's needs first. Willard F. Harley, Jr.

How to meet the emotional needs of your woman

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Dec 22, - A woman's emotional well-being and her mental outlook can also play Having some fear is normal, but a woman needs to recognize when a.

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Your Partner Cannot Fulfill All Your Emotional Needs

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