How to help your boyfriend understand your depression
Being in a romantic relationship when one or both of you suffer from depression is a massive challenge. Depression can make your partner seem distant. None of that means your relationship is the problem. You two can tackle this together. We can give you some tips and suggestions, but only you and your partner can decide your boundaries, your compromises, and what you can handle.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Helping a friend struggling with depression: Tips from Dr. Randy Auerbach
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Help Someone with Depression or AnxietyContent:
- Depression in Men
- Tips for Coping With Depression in a Relationship
- 9 Tips for Helping a Partner with Depression
- Seven ways to cope with a depressed partner
- How to support a partner with depression
- 15 Ways To Support A Partner With Depression That Are Actually Helpful
- Supporting a partner with depression
- How to cope when your partner has depression
- Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together
Depression in Men
One woman shares the story of how undiagnosed depression almost ended her relationship and how she finally got the help she needed. It was a crisp, fall Sunday when my boyfriend, B, surprised me with a gift card for a nearby boarding facility. He knew I had been missing horseback riding. I had taken lessons from the age of 8, but stopped when the barn sold a few years prior.
B had reached out to the barn manager and arranged for us to go out and meet some horses that were available for part-board which allows you to pay a monthly fee to ride the horse several times a week. I was incredibly excited.
We drove out to the barn and met with the owner of several beautiful horses. It seemed like it was meant to be. I spent the next few Sundays out at the barn getting to know Guinness and taking him on trail rides.
I felt blissful. Several weeks went by, and on another Sunday, I was sitting in bed in the middle of the afternoon bingeing on Netflix. B came into the room and suggested I go out to the barn.
I wanted to lay in bed. B consoled me and assured me that everything was OK. That we all needed a day to lay in bed every now and then. For the next several months, I was miserable to be around. B would never say it, but I knew I was. I was always fatigued, argumentative, hostile, and inattentive. I was failing as a partner, daughter, and friend. I bailed on plans in favor of staying inside and isolating myself from those closest to me.
When our friends would come over for Sunday football, I was locked away in our room sleeping or watching mindless reality TV. While I had never been an extrovert, this behavior was bizarre for me, and it started to cause serious trouble. I was accusatory and insecure.
Breakups were threatened on several occasions. We had been together for three years at this point, though we had known each other for much longer. It was becoming very apparent to B that something was wrong.
I made an appointment with my doctor and explained how I had been feeling. He asked if I had any family history of depression. I did: My grandmother has a chemical imbalance that requires her to use medication. He suggested that my symptoms were depressive and perhaps seasonal , and prescribed me a low dose of a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor SSRI. I was instantly torn between being relieved that there was an explanation for my recent behavior and ashamed that I was being diagnosed with a mental health condition and prescribed an antidepressant.
I remember calling B and being embarrassed as I danced around the topic of the medication. I asked him how his day was going, asked what he wanted to do for dinner that evening — pretty much anything that would stall the inevitable conversation we were about to have.
Finally, I admitted that the doctor thought I had depression and prescribed me something. Instead, he did something far more powerful. He accepted the diagnosis and encouraged me to listen to the doctor and take the medication. He reminded me that a mental health condition is no different than any other condition or injury. This is no different. I filled my prescription, and within weeks, we both noticed a significant change in my overall mood, outlook, and energy.
My head felt clearer, I felt happier, and I was regretful for not seeking treatment sooner. This is my depression diagnosis story. Approximately 1 in 6 U. So chances are, you may benefit at some point in your life from talking…. Adding these 10 simple self-care strategies to your daily routine can be effective for managing depression. Can you imagine going to work as a watered-down version of yourself? When it comes to employment…. Jamie Friedlander's anxiety caused a lot of sleep problems.
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Tips for Coping With Depression in a Relationship
T here is no lightning-bolt moment when you realise you are losing your sense of self; just an absence. When you are caring for someone you love, your wants and needs are supplanted by theirs, because what you want, more than anything, is for them to be well. Looking after a partner with mental health problems — in my case, my husband Rob, who had chronic depression — is complicated.
I suffer from depression myself and I know how tough it can be. But I want to talk to the partners - the people living with the people who are living with depression. It can make them say and do things that you just don't understand. I spent three years talking to more than people about their experiences with love, sex, and depression for my book, The Monster Under The Bed.
9 Tips for Helping a Partner with Depression
One woman shares the story of how undiagnosed depression almost ended her relationship and how she finally got the help she needed. It was a crisp, fall Sunday when my boyfriend, B, surprised me with a gift card for a nearby boarding facility. He knew I had been missing horseback riding. I had taken lessons from the age of 8, but stopped when the barn sold a few years prior. B had reached out to the barn manager and arranged for us to go out and meet some horses that were available for part-board which allows you to pay a monthly fee to ride the horse several times a week. I was incredibly excited. We drove out to the barn and met with the owner of several beautiful horses.
Seven ways to cope with a depressed partner
Mental illness, including depression , is something every person must face and manage in their own way. But it also impacts relationships with friends, family — and particularly partners. Those closest to someone living with depression can be a huge source of love, comfort, and support. But they can often feel enormous pressure.
Standing on the sidelines when a partner battles depression can feel like a helpless experience. You might feel confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed. You are not alone. Depression is an isolating illness that can negatively impact relationships and leave loved ones feeling helpless and afraid.
How to support a partner with depression
Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Dr. Denney - Male Depression
No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness or depression enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode during our relationship, my partner was at a loss. He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do. Sure we hit bumps along the road, but in the end I felt loved, supported, and understood in a way I never had before during a depressive episode, and he felt like he knew what was going on—a big deal in this situation—and was equipped to deal with it. It operates on the notion that the not-depressed partner is wonderful and selfless for standing by the partner with depression.
15 Ways To Support A Partner With Depression That Are Actually Helpful
Many people find themselves supporting a partner with depression at some point in their lives. The support of family and friends can play an important role in the treatment of mental health conditions. Depression is a condition that affects around 16 million adults in the United States each year. Depression can take its toll on relationships and may cause loved ones to feel helpless, frustrated, or fearful. In this article, we explore ways in which people can support a partner with depression in their journey toward recovery. Asking about symptoms also shows the person that their partner is interested in their feelings and experiences. Avoid asking questions that seem judgmental or place blame on the person with depression. They may already be blaming themselves for their symptoms, and they need support instead of further judgment.
As men, we like to think of ourselves as strong and in control of our emotions. When we feel hopeless or overwhelmed by despair we often deny it or try to cover it up. But depression is a common problem that affects many of us at some point in our lives, not a sign of emotional weakness or a failing of masculinity. It affects millions of men of all ages and backgrounds, as well as those who care about them—spouses, partners, friends, and family.
Supporting a partner with depression
I have seen how it can take the joy, energy, and sense of purpose out of everyday life. I also know how hard it can be to support someone who is living with depression. Depression may look different from person to person, but at its core the illness often causes people to feel lonely, inadequate, and misunderstood.
How to cope when your partner has depression
Understanding how depression affects your partner can be key to building a healthy, supportive relationship that cares for the mental wellbeing of both partners. Depression can cause people to withdraw, behave differently or become more irritable. Common symptoms include insomnia, feelings of worthlessness and loss of interest in activities. It can even lead to physical aches and pains.
It can be hard to be in a relationship with someone with depression. Also, depression can make someone more irritable, angry, or withdrawn. The symptoms of depression may lead to more arguments, frustration, or feelings of alienation. Although depression can be challenging, most people want to do what they can to help.
Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together
Prevention is better than cure. Get in early and challenge the person about their behaviour. Be firm but not confrontational — argument is counter-productive. The PHQ9 questionnaire available online is a good first tool to see if someone might be depressed and help you get appropriate treatment. Be a good listener. This is harder than you may imagine, especially if your partner starts talking about things that concern you and you want to answer back. But encourage your partner to open up — it may take time.
When your spouse has depression , you might be very worried, and feel utterly helpless. After all, depression is a stubborn, difficult illness. Your partner might seem detached or deeply sad.