My boyfriend wants me to get pregnant before marriage
My boyfriend of two and a half years recently bought a home. His mom provided half of the down payment and co-signed on the mortgage. Additionally, my boyfriend has asked that I sign a cohabitation agreement. I recently read the document, which was drafted by his lawyer, and found it appalling.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Before You Get Pregnant
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Having a Baby Before MarriageContent:
- 5 Women Share What It’s Like to Have a Baby Before Getting Married
- My boyfriend wants me to get pregnant before getting married.
- My Boyfriend Admitted He Tried to Get Me Pregnant
- He wants to get me pregnant before marriage
- 20 Signs He Wants to Have a Baby with You
- When One Partner Doesn’t Want a Baby
5 Women Share What It’s Like to Have a Baby Before Getting Married
My new boyfriend and I have only been together for two months. He constantly talks about marrying me and having kids. He even admitted that he didn't use condoms when we first got together to try to get me pregnant!!!
He makes me feel beautiful and wanted, and treats me like a princess, but I'm afraid he's trying to trap me into something I am not ready for. What do I do? This guy needs to slow the hell down.
And you need to take a step back and think this over: Do you want to get so serious with this guy so quickly? Why does this guy suddenly want to leap into parenthood and marriage, even if that means tricking you into getting pregnant? Sure, people do fall head-over-heels, but there's a difference between falling and being tripped.
This should really worry you. But first, let's dial things back a bit: He didn't use condoms right when you started dating because he wanted to get you pregnant? That's fucked up. I'm unclear about how or why he thought he could get you pregnant. Were you on the pill and didn't say anything? Or were you not and you went along with it anyway? Whatever the case, please be sure that you're not letting him control this relationship entirely — or pushing you toward unsafe sex.
I'm sure you know that, but it does sound like he's trying to steamroll and possibly trap you. You've got to be more assertive. Just think about all the things you couldn't possibly know about this guy after just two months — from his past relationships and family to his long-term stability, mental or otherwise — and consider how you might fill in some of those gaps. Sure, it's going well, but would you ever be considering family and kids after such a short time if he weren't pressuring you?
If you feel like he's trying to trap you, he probably is. Trust your instincts, practice safe sex, and slow down this runaway train. In fact, this relationship sounds so reckless, you should at least consider switching tracks entirely.
My long-term, long-distance ex and I broke up about six months ago, and I started seeing another guy but kept hooking up with my ex and talking to him regularly. We were in love for three years and unofficially engaged, and it took me awhile to get over him. Fast-forward six months and I've finally broken ties with my ex, and the other guy I've been hooking up with and spending a lot of time with is so much more than a rebound.
He's wonderful, caring, and affectionate, and we have similar interests and goals. I'm falling for him hard. He's officially my boyfriend as of today and I couldn't be happier, but he doesn't know that I hooked up with my ex several times while we were seeing each other casually. Also, when I first started seeing Mr. Amazing New Boyfriend a week after the breakup , he saw some old Facebook photos and asked when I broke up with my ex and how serious we were, and I lied and told him we had broken up months ago and didn't talk anymore, and I didn't tell him that we had been engaged.
I don't know why I lied. I guess I didn't want to talk about it and didn't want him to feel like just a rebound. Do I need to come clean about the past? I feel like it doesn't matter and it would be a bad start to a promising relationship, but now that I care about and trust this guy, I want to be honest with him.
Should I? I think you should be honest with him. I understand why you're worried. You lied to him. But I think this is an understandable mistake. You barely knew him. In the early days of a relationship, when we have no idea if something is going to be casual or serious, temporary or long-term, people often fudge the facts.
That's not exactly an excuse — that's just to say that we've all been there. Early on in a relationship, there are very few of us who, when asked about an ex, won't downplay its seriousness — or exaggerate how we are totally over it. But you need to clear the air. If you had an open, casual relationship in the beginning, I don't think this is the kind of issue a guy will go nuclear over. But that doesn't mean that he won't get upset. So: How do you do damage control? You come clean.
First, you tell him what you wrote me: That you're "falling for him hard" and that you "couldn't be happier. Admit that you lied. Explain to him exactly what you didn't tell him about your ex, and explain why you lied. Without making any excuses, try to give him some reasons. Tell him what you were thinking at the time. Don't pretend your lie was justified — just explain why you did it. Then stress the positive: You're telling him now because you want him to be able to trust you going forward.
To build a strong relationship with him, you feel like you have to get this off your chest. He might get upset and may need a bit of time to cool off. But if you're trying to build a long-term relationship with this guy, this is the kind of thing you two will need to be able to work through anyway.
If Mr. Amazing New Boyfriend is as amazing as you say he is, he'll understand why you lied — and why you cared enough to tell the truth. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now. He lost his father last year, and he was the breadwinner for the family.
Ever since, he has changed and hardly has time for me or us, and he's always busy and it's really frustrating me up to the point that I'm always shouting at him and I keep telling him to make time for us.
I really want to be there for him, but he always tells me that he'd rather solve his family problems with his family. It feels like there's no relationship at all, and I am tired of telling him the same stuff. I really love him, and we are even planning on marriage. It's tough to balance responsibilities — and when family, work, and love stack up, it can be hard for anyone to prioritize.
If you're in a long-term relationship — healthy or unhealthy — with absolutely anyone, this is bound to be a persistent issue.
It will flare up from time to time because there will only ever be so many hours in the day, days in the week, and weeks in the year. But there's a difference between handling all that well and letting things get way out of whack. You sound so frustrated — and, no doubt, your boyfriend is not making you feel safe and loved. The problem usually isn't that someone is spending less time with a partner because they love them less; he's probably just struggling to juggle unpredictable duties.
He sounds overwhelmed. And I think that's something we can all understand. So I think you need to find a better way to talk about it. It doesn't sound like a conversation; it sounds like you're accusing him and you're using some pretty extreme language — like saying, "It feels like there's no relationship at all.
Respectfully, I think you might need to tone things down a bit and think about ways to open up a more productive discussion. It's funny, but when you shout something, people are actually less likely to hear you. He's surely feeling pressure from both you and his family — and he's surely feeling like he's trying to do the right thing and failing. That's hard on anybody's ego. So you might find that a more gentle approach could work wonders.
You might start by setting aside a whole night for a longer conversation about how the two of you are going to deal with all this new pressure. I'd suggest you start that discussion by making sure your boyfriend understands that you respect what's he's facing — and that you're supportive, as you say, of him fulfilling his family responsibilities.
And then comes the "but Tell him you care so much that you want to feel closer to him. Also, it's worrisome that he's defining his family problems as problems that don't concern you. You've been together for two years and you're talking about marriage, so it may be time to tell him that you want him to think of you as part of his family. By the same token, you may need to start thinking of his family as yours, since they will theoretically be your family soon.
In any case, his family problems are already yours. It's not going to be easy. It never is — not for any of us. And you're probably not going to solve anything after just one conversation, no matter how long you talk. It takes time to work through these issues. The trick is keeping those channels open and doing the hard work of sympathizing with someone whose short-term responsibilities might not match up with your needs.
It sounds like you love each other a lot. I bet you can weather this tough patch if you can figure out a way to do it together. Do you have a question for Logan about sex or relationships? Ask him here.
My boyfriend wants me to get pregnant before getting married.
Most parents tell you that having children is the best thing that ever happened to them. But that doesn't mean it's the best thing that ever happened to their marriage. Ninety percent of married couples report their relationship satisfaction declines once they have their first baby, according to an eight-year study from the University of Denver. Although you can't truly understand what it's like to be a parent until you become one, you can take steps to keep your future offspring from hurting your relationship now.
What if one partner wants a baby but the other is hesitant? A psychoanalyst shares his words of wisdom. But now one of you is ready to move ahead with conception—and the other isn't so sure. This common scenario was brought up in a May Reddit thread.
My Boyfriend Admitted He Tried to Get Me Pregnant
My new boyfriend and I have only been together for two months. He constantly talks about marrying me and having kids. He even admitted that he didn't use condoms when we first got together to try to get me pregnant!!! He makes me feel beautiful and wanted, and treats me like a princess, but I'm afraid he's trying to trap me into something I am not ready for. What do I do? This guy needs to slow the hell down. And you need to take a step back and think this over: Do you want to get so serious with this guy so quickly? Why does this guy suddenly want to leap into parenthood and marriage, even if that means tricking you into getting pregnant? Sure, people do fall head-over-heels, but there's a difference between falling and being tripped.
He wants to get me pregnant before marriage
Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. Recently, we have been talking a lot about having children and getting married. I've never been interested in a formal marriage, but would be happy to marry him if he asked. He has always pictured his eventual children being part of the wedding ceremony.
Pregnancy hormones can make you feel a mix of emotional highs and lows , which can make many women feel more vulnerable or anxious. A positive relationship can make you feel loved and supported, and more able to deal with these situations. Sometimes this has nothing to do with pregnancy. These include:.
20 Signs He Wants to Have a Baby with You
I doubt it, but there's a tiny chance depending on the circumstances. And for the first time, I am kind of feeling okay with that. I am hoping to be a full time photographer and Stay-At-Home Mom, and getting preggo from March-July would mean having a baby in the off season. He claims his health insurance would cover the mother of his child.
Join now to personalize. My boyfriend wants a baby before marriage? We've been together for 17 months now and I know I want to marry him and I have utter faith in him as a father. I trust him and love him completely. He is my first and only boyfriend.
When One Partner Doesn’t Want a Baby
Be the first guy to share an opinion and earn 1 more Xper point! Sexual Health. I have been with my boyfriend a little over a year. He is 30 and I am He has a goal basically that he has to have kids or he will not be happy. However, I'm more the type I know that when I'm ready to have kids, I will more than likely want to have one or two. But, boyfriend wants a guarantee and to prove to him that I will have kids and therefore wants me to get pregnant before getting married or even before getting engaged. He has even thought about knocking some other chick up and then trying to marry me after so that he knows he will have a kid.
Is it time for you and your mate to have a baby? The decision to raise a child needs to be a mutual one, but before you pop the big question, "Do you want to have a kid? This is crucial because sometimes your spouse or boyfriend does not even realize he is telegraphing the need to have a child to you by his behavior. Was this helpful?
Now am totaly confuse cos he knows that am a vergin and have made a convenant between me and God that before a man can sleep with me it must be after we left the alter, Now i dont know what to do maybe i should go on and do what he want or i should stick with my convenant until the right man comes on my way and he said without sleeping with me he will not take me to the alter and i love this guy so much, what should i do? Guys can do anyfin 2 get what they want my sista. Pweety4me: Guys can do anyfin 2 get what they want my sista.
First comes love, then comes marriage, and then comes baby, right? Well, not necessarily. The discussion didn't start getting real until this baby. It turns out doing the status quo has never been our path, though.