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What to look for in a potential boyfriend

Yeah, no. Truly putting yourself out there and meeting people can be super hard, let alone meeting people you actually legitimately like enough to start a relationship. Sometimes, you want to take things into your own hands and actively look for a new partner on your own schedule. Although, yes, it can totally feel that way sometimes.

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21 Things To Look For In A Boyfriend

It's not always an easy task! Consequently, many singles are enlisting the help of professional cupids whose business is bringing together compatible couples. Today's matchmakers work hard for their money—and they demand a lot of it. Prices for these pros run steep, and only a select few singles are affluent enough to afford the service. But you get what you pay for, and matchmakers are selective about their clientele, finding them via referrals as well as by scouring cocktail parties, political fundraising events and charity balls.

Then comes an extensive one-on-one interview and background check. I become a friend to my clients," says New York-based matchmaker Barbra Brooks. After each arranged date, I interview both people for feedback, which I pass on—diplomatically, of course.

No need to be wistful, though, if you can't afford to hire a matchmaker of this caliber. We've asked Brooks and three other exclusive matchmakers for their best tips on how to find love. Here's what they have to say:. Be realistic. Men can sense right away if you're out for their wallet, not their personality. Be a hot mama, not a prospective mama. Kelleher, whose service has brought together about 6, marriages in 19 years, adds, "He's thinking, 'Whoa—I don't even know your middle name, and I already know the colors you want to paint your kid's nursery.

Make dating a priority. Janis Spindel, the self-described "cupid in a Chanel suit" and president of the New York-based Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking service, suggests that clients approach finding the right man as they would a job hunt.

The key is to always be prepared because you never know when or where you'll meet someone. Wear clothes that make you feel attractive and plan ahead for interesting conversation. You might meet someone at the newsstand. Nix the ex talk. On the first few dates, Brooks advises her clients to excise the desire to tell the new man all about the previous boyfriend. If your ex was fabulous, your date will feel he can't measure up.

But if you bash your ex too much, your date could think, Whoops—she might be talking about me that way in a few months! Similarly, you should be wary of a man who can't stop talking about his former paramour. If he's still hung up on her, his heart has no room for you. Neurotics needn't apply. You both need to be emotionally healthy to forge a successful relationship, says Neil Clark Warren, Ph.

For instance, it's not a good sign if you're in the relationship primarily because you're frightened of being alone. It's equally bad if your guy looks as longingly at the gin bottle as he does at you. Or if he's morbidly depressed. Don't fall into the codependent trap and think you can "heal" him. It's smarter to look for a man who doesn't need healing. Mind your manners. Men are understandably appalled when their bright, attractive, funny date suddenly does something tacky like ripping a piece of bread in half and putting the other half back in the bread basket or applying lipstick at the table.

Don't ask him too many questions about his job. He'll think you're a gold digger. Similarity breeds success. But when you're getting to know someone, ask yourself if you and he have the same core values," says Warren, also the author of Date And think really hard if your major life goals mix well.

Both of you need to agree on the merits or disadvantages of marriage, making babies and whether to aspire to living in a tree house or a penthouse. These are things that you can start finding out in as little as a date or two. Present a challenge. She points out that "three dates do not a relationship make. But don't build your social life around him for example, keep your Friday night theater subscription with your friend Beth and don't press him to talk about his "feelings.

This is all subject to change after you have been dating awhile and the relationship has become more serious. Don't be a babbling brook. Sure, you've got a host of charming stories, but save some for the second date. Women should pace themselves and think of about two to three great stories to tell on their date. But don't go overboard talking about yourself!

Sunny side up. Be a girl. Leave your professional persona at the office. Let him. In other words: It's a date, not a boxing match. Look beyond his good looks. Don't be dazzled by a handsome face and buff bod. Is this guy worthy of winning your heart? How does he treat his mother? How does he get along with siblings, cousins and friends?

If the answer to those questions is not too well, take heed. Once he is confident of your affections, he might revert to type and treat you like everyone else he "cares" about. Be mindful of that ole black magic. At first glance you felt more of an urge to hold his hand than jump his bones?

That's not a terrible sign: Physical attraction can deepen as you really get to know and trust each other. But there must be an ember of initial attraction to build from. Without any chemistry, Warren says, you're better off as friends.

Hold out before having sex. Spindel is adamant that you should forego sex at least for a little while. The matchmaker feels that until your guy is ready to commit at least part of his soul, you're better off not committing your entire body. Her rationale: "Ideally you should wait until you've had the discussion about not seeing other people.

That way you're sure he's operating more out of love than lust. Go with the flow. The real key to making it as a couple, says Warren, is that both people are willing to compromise. If one or both partners must always have their way and are threatened by even small changes, trouble will soon be brewing.

For example, if he suddenly has to work late on a night you were hoping to cook him dinner, be understanding of his need to be flexible and have him come over for coffee instead of the main course. Of course, he should be really sorry for the change in plans and should want to make it up to you. Sherry Amantenstein is a contributing writer for iVillage.

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14 essential things to look for in a boyfriend

Updated: April 18, References. A good relationship depends on love, respect and good communication. Finding a good boyfriend can be difficult, especially if you've been burned in the past by bad relationships. Spend some time getting to know what you want in a relationship, and identify how a certain guy might fit the bill.

Ever wondered if that guy you're seeing has that "boyfriend potential? A sense of humour is one of the most underrated qualities in a person.

Who you choose to date will have a major impact either good or bad on your life. It is important to enter your relationships with caution taking into consideration your potential boyfriend's qualities, what you like about him, and what you don't like. Avoid jumping into relationships just because you "need" or even just "want" a boyfriend. Take your time and get to know him.

If Your Boyfriend Possesses These 16 Traits, Never Ever Let Him Go

Common attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, or reliability. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive ways, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways as well. What this means is that we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing emotional baggage. We are inclined to replay events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our adult relationships. Were they too controlling? Did they make you feel a way you felt in your past? Did the situation mirror a dynamic from your childhood? No person is perfect, of course, but here are eight key qualities to look for in a partner:. Every person comes equipped with flaws and emotional baggage.

15 Signs That He Has Boyfriend Potential

Regardless of his height, he is comfortable with the way he looks around you. He genuinely makes you laugh because he is funny, not because you think he is attractive and want to flatter him , and not a self-conscious little giggle, either. He remembers little things about you, even things that other people might consider unimportant or too minor. He knows what your favorite dish at the Thai place is.

Sometimes dating is casual, sometimes we date with the hope that it is the beginning of something more committed and long term. Either way, a good date generally has good conversation, but it can be tough to think of good conversation ideas.

Sometimes, they say exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time and you just end up getting mad at them. But then there are times when they do things that surprise you and make you smile. They make you feel pretty and special and they brighten your day.

12 Things to Look for in a Guy Before You Date Him!

Most girls wait for the person who is meant for them without really doing anything but just sit there and expect for the best. However, the truth is, this is not the best way to meet the love of your life. In fact, waiting and not doing anything at all might even make you miss that rare opportunity of encountering them. Know what you really want — and where to look.

And what you expect from a guy and from a happy relationship would be very different from what your friend expects. Instead of taking pointers from friends or asking for their opinions all the time, sometimes the easiest way to figure out if a guy is a good match for you is by testing your compatibility with him, keeping your own expectations in mind. A guy could seem perfect for you, your friends may love him, and you may be falling hard for him too. What you see as cocky may be interpreted as confidence by another girl, and what you believe is coy and cute could be misunderstood as low self esteem by a guy you like! There are a few perceived flaws that are completely excusable in a guy.

Men With These 10 Personality Traits Make The Best Boyfriends

In order to be truly honest with you, though, he should feel comfortable telling you his real thoughts or, if not, he should be able to push past the discomfort for the sake of your relationship. During the early days of a relationship, he might guard you from certain aspects of his personality, so pay close attention to his interactions with others—particularly waitstaff, subordinates, and strangers. Get a haircut? Feeling worn out after a long day at work? As soon as he sees you, he knows. Guys who pay close attention to their partners tend to be compassionate, empathetic people. Nobody is identical to their partner.

Learn how to get a boyfriend. Know what you really want – and where to look. You'll attract a potential boyfriend if you are at your best self, so make sure.

One of the best ways to avoid the heartache and loneliness associated with a bad breakup is to avoid dating the wrong guy in the first place. Easier said than done, right? With that in mind, here are six traits that you can evaluate in a potential date before you fall for him completely.

39 Ways to Meet Guys That Don’t Involve Dating Apps

There are certain traits that the majority of heterosexual women look for in a man: kindness, GSOH, an understanding that the fight for gender equality is very much still ongoing. But other aspects of your personality could be a deal-breaker for one woman and simultaneously the reason another falls in love with you. With the advent of dating apps meaning another love interest is never more than a right swipe away, it can be hard to commit.

Find a boyfriend: 15 tips from professional matchmakers

Ladies, there should be certain qualities to look for in a potential boyfriend before actually making him your boyfriend. Some may call it having high standards, others may call it guarding the heart and choosing carefully. Whatever you call it, there are in fact certain qualities to look for in a potential boyfriend. Here are some of the most important qualities to search for that will result in a happier and longer relationship.

It's not always an easy task!

Don't even think about getting married before you check this list! It's exciting to find a man who's ready to stop playing dating games and start focusing on what one woman — you — have to offer in relationships, but before you even consider committing to him as "boyfriend and girlfriend", let alone think seriously about getting married and making him your husband, it's critical to know which personality traits to look for as signs that he will actually be a good boyfriend and, potentially, a good husband. You can use this "checklist" of sorts as a guide to understanding what you should look for when it comes to deciding whether or not a man is worthy of you or an investment of your time. This trait separates the men from the boys.

11 Things To Ask Yourself Before You Date Him

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