What you look for in a long term partner
We asked therapists to share the positive signs to look out for within the first six months of dating that could indicate whether the two of you have what it takes to go the distance. When you agree to do something, it gets done. You know you can count on each other for things big and small. Two people who can take responsibility for their missteps, instead of rattling off a bunch of excuses for their behavior, are more likely to move through rough patches without lingering resentments. Or do they maintain eye contact, respond thoughtfully and remember the things you tell them — even the little stuff, like your favorite gelato flavor or the name of your family dog?SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How Do You Deal With Doubt In A Long Term Relationship?
- #RelationshipGoals: 6 Things to Look for in a Long-Term Partner
- Desire in Long Term Relationships: Keeping it and Finding it When It’s Gone.
- Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person
- Kindness is a top priority in a long-term partner according to a new international study
- 3 Essential Qualities to Look for in a Long-term Romantic Partner
- 10 Traits to Look for in a Long-Term Partner
- 10 Early Signs Your Relationship Will Last
- What Should I Look for in a Partner?
#RelationshipGoals: 6 Things to Look for in a Long-Term Partner
This can be a good metaphor for our dating habits in general. The reasons we fall in love may be a mystery, but the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive. There may be no such thing as the perfect partner, but an ideal partner can be found in someone who has developed themselves in certain ways that go beyond the surface. While we each seek out a specific set of qualities that is uniquely meaningful to us alone, there are certain psychological characteristics both you and your partner can aim for that make the flame not only stronger, more passionate and more fulfilling, but also far less likely to die out the moment the clock strikes midnight.
These ideal attributes include:. This statement is not meant to echo the ever-advised mantra that maturity is important.
These qualities are nice, but to truly grow up means making an active effort to recognize and resolve negative influences from our past. An ideal partner is thus willing to reflect on his or her history and is interested in understanding how old events inform current behaviors. When people mature emotionally, they are less likely to re-enact or project past experiences onto their current relationships.
They develop a strong sense of independence and autonomy, having differentiated from destructive influences from early in life. As they evolve within themselves, they are less likely to look for someone to compensate for shortcomings and weaknesses or to complete their incompleteness. Having broken ties to old identities and patterns, this person is much more available to a romantic partner and the new family that they create together.
Naturally, becoming emotionally mature ourselves helps with this process and dramatically improves our chances of achieving a solid and rewarding relationship. The ideal partner is open, undefended and willing to be vulnerable.
No human being is perfect, so finding someone who is approachable and receptive to feedback can be a huge asset to a lasting union. When someone is free-thinking and open-minded, it enables them to be forthright in expressing feelings, thoughts, dreams and desires, which allows you to truly know them.
Their openness is also an indication of their interest in personal development and often contributes to the development of the relationship. Like perfect people, perfect unions do not exist, so finding someone with whom you can talk about an area that you feel is lacking in your relationship and who is open to evolving is more than half the battle.
Conversely, being willing to accept feedback from our partners and looking for that kernel of truth in what they say allows us to develop ourselves in a similar manner.
The ideal partner realizes the importance of honesty in a close relationship. Honesty builds trust between people. Dishonesty confuses the other person, betraying their vulnerability and shattering their sense of reality. Nothing has a more destructive impact on a close relationship between two people than dishonesty and deception.
Even in painful situations such as infidelity, the blatant deception involved is often equally, if not more, hurtful than the unfaithful act itself.
The ideal partner strives to live a life of integrity so that there are no discrepancies between words and actions. This goes for all levels of communication, both verbal and nonverbal. Being open and honest in our most intimate relationships means really knowing ourselves and our intentions. While this can prove difficult, it is an effort worth striving for. Ideal partners treat each other with respect and sensitivity. They do not try to control each other with threatening or manipulative behavior.
The ideal partner perceives their mate on both an intellectual, observational level and an emotional, intuitive level. This person is able to both understand and empathize with his or her partner. When two people in a couple understand each other, they become aware of the commonalities that exist between them and also recognize and appreciate the differences.
Developing our ability to be empathic helps us understand and attune to our partner. The ideal partner is easily affectionate and responsive on many levels: physically, emotionally and verbally. He or she is personal, acknowledging and outwardly demonstrative of feelings of warmth and tenderness. This person should enjoy closeness in being sexual and feel uninhibited in giving and accepting affection and pleasure.
Being open to both giving and receiving affection adds a poignant feeling to our lives. The ideal partner has a sense of humor. A sense of humor can be a lifesaver in a relationship.
Couples who are playful and teasing often defuse potentially volatile situations with their humor. A good sense of humor definitely eases the tense moments in a relationship. Being able to laugh at ourselves makes life much easier. This piece is lovely, it will greatly help us to achieve a successful and healthy relationship. Also, our children growing will learn from this. Thank you. What an outstanding piece, thanks Dr.
Lisa, this will go along way to help us in our relationship. These piece is so Lovely,it so much Inspired me by. Understathe realities and ideas needed in life to yield a better result. Your email address will not be published.
Dating Resolutions: 7 Characteristics of an Ideal Partner. About the Author. Lisa Firestone, Ph. An accomplished and much requested lecturer, Dr. Firestone speaks at national and international conferences in the areas of couple relations, parenting, and suicide and violence prevention. Follow Dr. Related Articles. Thanx a lot Reply Loyalty? Reply I think that falls under respect and maturity. Thanks alot such words can push me iny relationship for the next 20 years Reply.
Waw So strong words that can keep relationship for a hundred of years Reply. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. How to make sense of and feel better about a breakup. As a therapist, I hear a lot of breakup….
Desire in Long Term Relationships: Keeping it and Finding it When It’s Gone.
Research suggests that agreeableness is positively correlated with more frequent sex and happiness — two of the most popular relationshipgoals. Nancy works long hours, travels regularly for work and has an active social life. Paul often feels neglected and expresses to Nancy that he sometimes feels threatened by her late-night meetings and overnights in far-off cities.
Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey.
Common attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, or reliability. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive ways, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways as well. What this means is that we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing emotional baggage. We are inclined to replay events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our adult relationships. Were they too controlling? Did they make you feel a way you felt in your past? Did the situation mirror a dynamic from your childhood? No person is perfect, of course, but here are eight key qualities to look for in a partner:.
Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person
Krystal Baugher. After a pretty brutal breakup of mine , I remember the day I finally emerged from wallowing in my dark cold basement. Then she sat me down in front of my computer and told me I was going to start dating again. I looked at her in horror.
Kindness is a top priority in a long-term partner according to a new international study
This can be a good metaphor for our dating habits in general. The reasons we fall in love may be a mystery, but the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive. There may be no such thing as the perfect partner, but an ideal partner can be found in someone who has developed themselves in certain ways that go beyond the surface.
There might be love. There might be commitment. There might be a solid friendship at its core. Worth it — but hard. Desire feeds physical intimacy which in turn feeds connection, nurturance and the protective guard around relationships. Intimate relationships in which desire has faded can take on the shape of housemates or colleagues.
3 Essential Qualities to Look for in a Long-term Romantic Partner
Photo by Stocksy. Healthy relationships require something much deeper than just shared interests and strong attachment to each other. Maintaining a happy, healthy relationship requires you to make daily choices that leave your ego behind and to act in the best interest of your relationship rather than just yourself. Here are the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship:. Any partner will have qualities, characteristics, and behaviors that push your buttons and test your sanity. To make your relationship last, you have to accept your partner unconditionally—quirks, behavior, flaws, and all. First, you make the commitment to accept them completely. Then, you speak up and say what it is that's bothering you.
Nice eyes? A great smile? A quirky sense of humor?
10 Traits to Look for in a Long-Term Partner
There are three essential qualities to look for when you choose a long-term romantic partner. These three essential qualities carry different weight for different people and their pull changes over time—the initial attraction between two people becomes less important over time because other things, like pair bonding and stability, become more important. In other words: sexual attraction. If this is not there at the beginning, it likely never will be.
10 Early Signs Your Relationship Will Last
What Should I Look for in a Partner?