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Why do i always need a guy

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Relationship Advice—From Men

Our lives are made infinitely richer by our relationships. I love finding ways to strengthen them at home, at work, and with friends. I got one of the biggest jolts of my life when my year-old mother started a serious relationship just 13 months after my father's sudden death.

She had complained about my dad for decades—calling him grouchy, negative, and controlling which he was. I was, therefore, flummoxed and flabbergasted that she'd give up her new-found freedom and jump into another committed partnership with someone who had the same destructive qualities.

She did, though, and remains there 15 years later, choosing a life with a not-so-desirable guy and largely turning her back on her children, grandchildren, friends, and volunteer work. She has a man but not much else. Although generations apart from my mother, Samantha, my year-old hairdresser, is another woman who can't bear to live without a man.

She recently left her husband of 10 years for another guy. When that relationship began to deteriorate, she immediately begged her friends to set her up with someone new.

She started hanging out at bars late into the night to find a replacement. Looking at eligible guys online became an obsession, and she'd go out with three or four of them a week. Being without a man—even for a short period—made her feel absolutely worthless and miserable even though she had great friends and loved her job. She knew virtually nothing that was happening in the world with current affairs, politics, and celebrities.

Her focus was almost exclusively on her love life. She was only willing to let go of her current guy when she had a new one on the hook. Many of us know women like my mother and Samantha who'd rather have a creep in their lives than nobody at all.

They frustrate and infuriate us with their dependency on men at a time when it doesn't seem necessary. When we examine history, however, it's not surprising that many women still feel compelled to have a guy at their sides for tangible reasons—safety, social status, and financial security—and for the intangible reason—to make them feel complete. Although the slogan " you've come a long way, baby" is true in many ways, we still have a great distance to travel.

After all, the women's movement is only about 50 years old. Here are 14 reasons why some women always need a man don't be surprised if you recognize someone in your circle or, perhaps, even yourself!

During World War II, women were recruited to work in factories when men were forced to vacate those jobs for military service. Before that time, most stayed at home—their identities tied to their roles as wives and mothers. They didn't have the same opportunities as men to pursue higher education and higher-paying careers so they were financially dependent on their spouses.

Most women of my mother's generation never even considered jobs in medicine, engineering, and science. If they did pursue work outside the home, it was typically low-paying jobs such as store clerks, customer service, and textile workers. Women making huge strides in high-paying, prestigious careers such as lawyers, doctors, and business leaders is a recent development, explaining why so many women still want a successful man to give them status. During Victorian times, a woman's purpose in life—no matter what her class—was to wed a suitable man.

In movies and television shows, librarians and school teachers of the past were portrayed as homely women who couldn't attract men. They had to work in order to survive, not because they were pursuing a passion.

The notion that a career could be fulfilling and enjoyable for a woman, and not just drudgery, is another recent development in our history as women begin to see their jobs as a path to happiness, not just marriage and kids. During the women's movement of the 's and 70's, many of its leaders were portrayed in the media as harsh, grave, and unfeminine. They were often seen as man-haters and anti-family. Traditional housewives like my mother were intimidated by this new type of female and worried what the future would hold.

Men like my dad were threatened by them. Many of us today hold Gloria Steinem in high regard and are grateful for the role she played as a prominent leader of the women's movement in the 60's and 70's. I was a girl attending Catholic school during those times, though, and I remember how she was demonized—portrayed as the antithesis of the wholesome values we held dear such as home, family, and marriage.

When Steinem said "a woman without a man was like a fish without a bicycle," she was seen as dangerous and revolutionary. When I was in school during the 70's, our history books contained scant information on important women in American history. We were left with the impression that women had to marry well to make a difference in the world or be a seamstress.

We thought a woman's primary role was to be supportive of her husband. We thought our destiny rested with the ambition of our spouse and not within ourselves. Most of the fabulously wealthy women in our nation's past and present got their fortune from a father Alice Walton, heiress to the Walmart fortune , a deceased husband Joan Kroc, widow of McDonald's founder, Ray Kroc, and Laurene Powell Jobs, widow of Apple's founder, Steve Jobs or a divorce.

It's only in recent times that we've see women become incredibly rich and powerful on their own such as Oprah Winfrey and Sheryl Sandberg. They are shining examples to girls today that it's possible to secure their own economic futures without depending on a man.

According to the National Association of Realtors, 23 percent of first-time home buyers are now single women, proving that women feel more confident about making big steps forward in their lives without a husband. Even after all these decades, women are still using different titles based on whether they're married or not.

When a woman gets the married title of "Mrs. Historically, women have remained in low-playing jobs such as retail, hospitality, teaching, and child care. Women with these jobs struggle to survive on one income. Although she has many clients, my hairdresser, Samantha, struggles to make end's meat. As a private contractor, she must shell out a lot of money to purchase her own health insurance and pay rent at the salon.

She lives paycheck-to-paycheck and has no savings for retirement. Having a man in her life to share expenses certainly eases her financial worries and makes her feel safer at her apartment in a not-so-safe part of town. Although women have come along way, they still rely heavily on men for safety and protection.

Women who give parties invite couples. A single gal especially an attractive one is seen as a threat and an outsider. A woman with a man gains social status and respectability. She can mix with both men and women and isn't seen as a piranha. Even though my mother's boyfriend is certainly no winner, friends envy her because she has a man to escort her to church, take her to parties, and elevate her position in their retirement community.

Leading ladies of the big screen such as Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, and Angelina Jolie were married many times and each union made them seem more glamorous and desirable. Elizabeth Taylor, who was married eight times, stayed in the spotlight even after her film career dried up because of her high-profile relationships. Actresses in Hollywood have long known that they can keep themselves in the spotlight, despite movie flops, if they're paired with a high-profile actor.

Pop star, Taylor Swift, has made a career of writing songs about her former boyfriends, giving young girls the impression that a man shapes a woman's life more powerfully than anything else. Many young actresses throughout the decades have used relationships with high-profile men to garner publicity when they're starting out in show business.

Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Lopez all dated a string of male celebrities when launching their careers. The goal is for the women to get the ultimate happy ending on the show's finale—a big sparkly ring and a wedding proposal. Who would think at this time in her nation's history with women making such strides in business, education, and politics that a program with such a backward message would be such a hit?

Yet, it offers that simplistic fairytale ending that so many of us grew up believing--finding romance and living happily ever after. Cathy was a single working woman presented in a stereotypical and often negative way.

She was always obsessing about food, her weight, shopping, and finding a man to marry. She was single, insecure, and neurotic and made being single seem dreadful.

The number of singles now outnumbers married people. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, The days when men had to marry a woman or find a hooker to have sex are long gone. When a woman reaches that age range, the odds are against her finding a partner.

When we're , there are equal numbers of single men to single women. When we're , there are 2. When we reach , we might as well forget it as single women outnumber men 4 to 1.

With her male companion, my mother's social life expanded greatly. She has two social sets now—her widowed lady friends and her couple friends. I loved the article but I do wish you would have mentioned more about the "labels and treatment" we, as women face, even today if we dare to speak up for ourselves.

The Me Too movement, etc, has been a great kickstarter. I've been blacklisted from radio going on 30 so-odd years now because I believe I was one of the first to "dare" file a sexual harassment suit against my radio station, so how do we fight against that?

But if these uninformed fellows are foolish enough to sexually harass a female co-worker, they're now much more likely to be reported and suffer consequences because of it.

Women today feel empowered, want to see more progress, want to get ahead in their careers, and reap the financial benefits. No woman today needs to feel alone. We're in this together and we all have an obligation to act so there won't be more victims. We need to keep the discussion going, letting employers know how sexual harassment affects our mental health, our ability to perform on the job, and our interest in staying with the company.

So many talented women like you were lost in the early days and we don't want that to continue. You were one of the early heroes and victims of the movement. You took a stand and suffered the consequences. We owe you a debt of gratitude because you paved the way for what's happening now. Your sacrifice made a huge difference in this movement and you should be commended. The culture has definitely shifted and you can see that on television.

I grew up watching Bob Hope and Johnny Carson. They always had big-breasted blondes on their shows, made jokes about them being well-endowed, and treated them as mere objects and punchlines. The sexist jokes just fall flat.

Why Do I Always Want Men Who Are Taken or Not Available?

Women are often reprimanded for being complicated creatures, but the truth is that men can be just as guilty of sending mixed signals to the opposite sex. A lot of the reasons for why revert back to society's traditional line of thought around masculinity — and what's deemed "cool" or not — but let's be honest: That's no excuse. So if you've ever wondered what we, as men, really think and want, here's a sneak peek at what we wish you knew. Some guys may try to play it off like they don't need praise — they just threw on that T-shirt without thinking — but anyone who tries to tell you they don't want a compliment tossed their way is full of crap. Yes, we thought about what you'll think of how those jeans show off our assets.

I have come to learn that we manifest in our lives what we believe we deserve. I was a late bloomer to love because I never believed myself attractive enough for men.

It's no surprise that sex is super important to men. Most times, men will admit that it's number one on their list for what they want in a marriage and research suggests that men do tend to have higher sexual desire than women. Husbands don't always ask their wives for what they want, but many of them have thoughts and feelings that they keep to themselves. For instance, some men feel a sense of responsibility to take care of their wives financially, even if she earns more or you worked out a dual-income contribution to the household. This example creates pressure that affects the relationship, so understanding his inner world will open you up to a world of understanding and opportunity.

10 Things Men Want From Their Wives

Allowing men to take the lead sometimes helps men stay committed to the relationship. Helping a man feel like a conqueror will help him want to stay committed. It may sound odd to women, but it can be easier than you may think. When a man feels that he has this type of woman, he will go the extra mile to stay committed because he sees her as an asset to his life. Men love to feel like a woman will do something out of her comfort zone for us. For instance, a man wants to take on a task that you see is menial. If a woman makes him fight or justify it, then she may cause him to flee. Allowing him to do it without hassle, and trusting that he is a faithful man who simply needs to conquer something, will make all the difference in the world. That makes him feel like a conqueror and that he has a ride-or-die type of woman. Little do most women know that a small task like pushing the elevator button can be important to a man.

10 Things Women Do That Drive Men Away

This is the step that often gets missed or overlooked. The problem was simple: I was choosing the wrong men. This is where the problems develop. This is where all the questions and tears and doubt and uncertainties and fears start to consume you. This is just a glimpse into the confusion that ensues when you choose the wrong guy.

Our lives are made infinitely richer by our relationships.

With few exceptions, human beings want to be emotionally and physically close to each other. Life seems better shared. And yet no area of human endeavor seems more fraught with challenges and difficulties than our relationships with others.

14 Reasons Why Some Women Always Need a Man to Feel Complete

All Rights Reserved. Powered by WordPress. This list of ten things women do that drive men away was compiled from informal interviews with real everyday men. None of them are sociologists, psychologists, or relationship experts.

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A nice guy is an informal term for an often young adult male who portrays himself with characteristics such as being gentle , compassionate , sensitive and vulnerable. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and, in the context of dating in which the term is often used [1] , uses acts of friendship and basic social etiquette with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship. The results of the research on romantic perception of "nice guys" are mixed and often inconsistent. Studies that explicitly use the term "nice guy" sometimes cite research that does not directly use the term, but which addresses behaviours which are often associated with disingenuous "niceness". One difficulty in studying the "nice guy" phenomenon is due to the ambiguity of the "nice guy" construct. Participants in studies interpret "nice guy" to mean different things.

Everything You Need To Know About Choosing The Right Guy

Take a minute and step back from your man search. You have friends, family, co-workers and more. You have plenty of people to talk to, do things with, and be happy around. You can reach higher shelves, you can go out to dinner, you can support yourself. Hell, you can even please yourself. You can choose any career you want.

Nov 6, - Some guys may try to play it off like they don't need praise — they just threw Not only do we think it'll solve a problem (more on that below), but we also We may not always say it, but it's beautiful — and much appreciated.

Photo by Shutterstock. Why do men need space in relationships? Why do they get distant after sex or pull away when they are falling in love?

You Are Enough: If You Think You Need A Man, You Need To Be Single

I have my own money, and am most likely contemplating something more important than who's going to buy my next cranberry vodka. I have two hands, and I am much stronger than I look. I enjoy spoiling myself in this way, but even so, I am content without having such luxuries to begin with. I can complete myself, and if a man wants to add anything to my life, it should be something intangible.






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